I just came across an article on cbsnews.com that states that two separate studies have found that taking psychedelic mushrooms may help treat depression.

As a life long battler of depression and anxiety, this intrigued me.

The article said research was conducted that included the participants in the study having an MRI done while
shrooming.

Of course, I now have some questions.

How did the participants stay still for an MRI? Did you strap them down? If being strapped down while on any substance wasn’t bad enough, while on mushrooms? How many participants had visions of being in Lilliput?

Can you imagine being the tech running the machine?

“Alright now, try and hold still, the test has begun. No, I’m not God, I’ve explained to you before, I’m just a technician. Please be still. I don’t know who has your purple lotus flower, but again, please be still. The circus is not coming, I believe that is just the whirl of the machi– I, uh, love you too. And I’d really love it if you could remain still. Fine, I will call you Augustus Gloop, just pleas–”

The tech turns around to a doctor supervising the study, “I thought this would be fun, and a great story to tell my friends, but you aren’t paying my enough for this shit.”

The article goes on to explain that the testing and theories behind it suggested that increase activity to certain parts of the brain and decreased blood flow to the hypothalamus provided relief in participants.

So what you’re saying is, when I heard that taking mushrooms will “expand my mind”, Mr. Hippie Dirtydreads M.D. was right?

Great, give them another thing to add their already lengthy “Legalization” argument.

Actually, I don’t care. To each their own. I’m all for getting out of your own skin and out of your own head every once and a while, but I also like having a career and a roof over my family’s head, so I guess that’s “where the party bus dropped me off”.

Although, if the medical university here offers a study like this, I may have to develop some “crippling depression”.

Actually, I’m fine, and have been for about a year, but I think I would like the free vacation.

Hopefully my son won’t be too confused when he asks me to take him to Disney World for the first time, and my response is, “So soon? Sure, I guess we can go again.”